


I've Always Wanted

by Alien_Goth_Gf



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: First time writing a fic, LGBT, LGBTQ, LGBTQ Character, M/M, Physical Abuse, i dont know what im doing aha
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:40:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 3,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22554178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alien_Goth_Gf/pseuds/Alien_Goth_Gf
Summary: Richie Tozier has always liked girls, or so he thought. He knew that Eddie Kaspbrak was special to him, but what was the point when he knew he'd just be an outcast even more if he told anyone?
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> oK I know that this chapter is short but it is just an introduction-

Richie was feeling a bit.. odd.. lately.

He wasn't sure why, and he didn't know how this could be true.

Richie Tozier had a huge crush on Eddie Kaspbrak.

Everything about Eddie, Richie just adored. The way his hair blew in the wind while they were riding bikes, his smile that beautifully defined his dimples, and hell, even when Eddie was upset and yelling at Richie, he just sat there and listened to his clear and soft voice. He had only figured this out recently, but he knew that he could not, under any circumstances, tell anybody about it. He was already suspected for being gay but he always tried his hardest to prove that he was straighter than a ruler.


	2. They Can't Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A visit to the principal's office causes a lot of commotion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VGFVHYGBHW oK a LOT of this is probably not that much cannon stuff so bare with me-

"Richard!"

Richie flinched and looked up towards the teacher. He was spacing out once again, it was the third time today and it was only second period. She seemed to have been calling his name for a while now since she was standing right above him and the whole class was watching.

"Oh sh-" He cut himself off. "What's up, Teach?" He asked nonchalantly.

The teacher let out a large sigh and rolled her eyes. "Were you even paying attention!?" Her voice was stern and loud.

Richie let out a nervous laugh. He literally hadn't heard anything she had said in the class. "Uhm.. Not really.." He stated, looking towards the ground.

Ms. Cole walked back over to her desk and took a paper from a small organizer she had on the corner of her desk. She swiped a pen from a little cup and wrote a few things on the slip of paper.

"Take this and go to the office, Mr. Tozier." She said as she held out the paper.

Richie stood up out of his desk and walked over to the desk with a sigh. He snatched the paper from her hand and walked out of the classroom. He could hear giggling from the many students in the classroom as he slammed the door shut and walked down the halls to the office. 

He slowly pushed the door to his office open, glancing around the relatively small room. 

"Well hello there, Richie. Please, come sit down." The principal said in a soft voice, gesturing towards the small chair in front of his desk.

Richie took a deep breath and sat down on the chair. "Here.." He handed the principal the slip of paper and slouched in the chair. 

He took the note from him and read over it. He nodded a bit as he set the note down on the desk in front of him. "So, it seems that you weren't paying attention in Chemistry.. Or English.. Is there some sort of issue that I should know about here?"

Richie sighed. "It's nothing. I'm fine." He said, looking up to the other.

"I don't think it's, 'nothing', Richie. Is something going on at home, perhaps?" The principal asked. He knew that Richie was not the best student, but more recently, he just seemed out of it.

Richie adjusted in his seat a bit. He knew that he should be quiet about what goes on at home, or at least that's what his dad says. "I told you that I was fine." He grumbled.

The principal sighed. "I think I'll have to call your parents.."

"Wait, please, don't." He said desperately, straightening his back a bit.

"I'm sorry but I don't think I have a choice." He picked up the phone and dialed a number, bringing it up to his ear. "Hello, is this Wentworth Tozier? I'm having a little problem with-"

Richie couldn't hear the principal anymore. He was just mentally preparing himself for what was going to happen when he got home. The sound of the phone being placed back down snapped him out of this. His eyes were wide and he was shaking slightly. 

"Your father is picking you up early, and he didn't sound too happy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you enjoyed this chapter! More to come very soon!


	3. It's 'Nothing'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: ABUSE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys. so im sick today to expect to see quite a few chapters put out aha-

Richie gathered all his belongings from Ms. Cole's class and exited the school. Wentworth was sitting in his car in front of the school. Richie got into the backseat, terrified since it was dead silent in the car. It was silent the whole way to his house. As soon as they got home, Wentworth yanked Richie out of his seat and dragged him into the house by his wrist. Richie just walked with him. Wentworth slammed the front door and looked towards Richie, who was just staring at the ground. 

"What the hell is wrong with you." Wentworth asked. Richie couldn't tell if it was an actual question or just an insult. "When I ask a question, boy, you answer me." He stated, his tone rising as he shoved Richie back a bit. 

Richie stumbled backwards. "I don't know.." The truth was, he literally couldn't stop thinking about Eddie, but he could never say that.

Wentworth slammed Richie up against the wall and picked him up by his shirt collar. Richie just stared at him with wide eyes. "Wh-what are you-" 

Richie was cut off by getting a harsh slap to his face. "I don't want to see this shit again, okay!?" He yelled. Richie shakily nodded. "Good." Wentworth threw him to the side.

Richie laid there for a few minutes, since he had slammed on the tile really hard. He eventually stood up and went to his room. He held back his tears from the pain. He knew that his dad would get drunk and pass out eventually, so he was waiting for that moment. After a bit of resting, Richie peeked out of his door and sure enough, his dad was passed out on the couch. He quickly ran over to the phone and dialed Eddie's number, since Richie knew that he could trust him. After a bit of waiting, he picked up.

"Hello?" Eddie asked in a monotone voice. 

"H-hey, Eds, it's Richie." He said softly.

Eddie could tell that something was up with Richie. "Richie? Why are you calling so late, Dude? What's wrong?"

"Can I please come over..? I can just sneak through your window." Richie said, sighing a bit.

"I don't know, Richie, I-"

Eddie was cut off. "Please, Eds.." Richie begged quietly.

He sighed. "Fine, just get here quickly." Eddie then hung up the phone and waited. 

Richie smiled slight and ran to his room. He quickly gathered his things, slipped his shoes on, and quietly exited through his front door. 


	4. Long Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter SRTYFGUAYGSUAYHGSUHA-

Richie was running towards Eddie's house as quick as he could, since there was barely any daylight left outside. He finally arrived at his house and walked towards Eddie's window. He knocked on it. Eddie looked over to the window and unlocked it. He helped Richie get up in the window and pulled him onto his bed. 

"So, why did you want to come here?" Eddie asked.

Richie set his stuff to the side. He sighed softly and just hugged Eddie tightly. Eddie hesitated but hugged back after a second. "Can I stay the night..?" He asked quietly.

"Uh, sure.." Eddie said. He continued holding onto Richie, since it felt nice to just be in his arms for a bit. 

Richie finally let go and looked down. He smiled a bit, it just felt so warm and blissful when he was close to Eddie. He knew that he had to tell Eddie sometime soon, since that was his main problem at the moment.

"I think that I should go to sleep.. Feel free to stay up for a bit if you want." Eddie said as he laid down on his bed, pulling the covers up to his chin. 

Richie scooted over a bit so Eddie could lay down comfortably. He brought his knees up to his chest and rested his chin on them. Richie's eyes landed on Eddie's face, and he just stared. His hair was messy, his breathing was quiet and slow, and Richie just wanted to tell him all of his feelings. 

But he knew that he couldn't.

He just decided to lay on the floor, take a couple pillows from Eddie's closet, and try to fall asleep. 

After a little while, Richie finally succumbed to the sleepiness.


	5. Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here- Have a happy chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im still sick so yay me :)))

Eddie woke up to a pillow being thrown at his face.

"AgH- What the hell!?" He looked over to Richie, who was smirking and holding two more pillows in his hands. Richie snickered.

Eddie picked up the pillow he had on his bed, which was weighted, and threw it straight at Richie. Richie stumbled backwards a bit, but caught the pillow. He threw it back to Eddie and it hit his face. He fell backwards on to the bed while laughing. Eddie took the pillow off of his face and set it beside him. 

"Let's get something to eat, Dumbass." Eddie said as he stood up and stretched.

Richie nodded. He watched as Eddie stretched. He was wearing a shirt that was pretty big on him, and his usual red shorts. Richie smiled and blushed slightly, he looked adorable. 

Eddie looked over to Richie and also blushed. "Stop looking at me like that!" He whined, even though he actually liked the way Richie admired him. 

"Sorry Eds, can't help it!" Richie stated, chuckling a bit. 

Eddie rolled his eyes and walked out of his room to go downstairs. Richie smiled and followed him. They got to the kitchen and Eddie looked around a bit. "Hmm, I can make pancakes, or something.." He said as he searched through the cabinets. 

"Pancakes sound good." Richie stated, hopping up on to the counter and sitting on it. 

"Get off the counter, our foods gonna be there." Eddie said, pushing Richie to the side a bit. He grabbed all of the ingredients to make pancakes and started to mix them in a bowl. 

"Do ya need any help?" Richie asked as he got off the counter. He leaned his elbow on the counter next to Eddie and rested his cheek on his fist.

"I'm perfectly capable of making pancakes, thanks." He said, looking over to Richie. 

"Aww but you're so small! Will you even be able to pick up the bowl?" Richie teased, snickering a bit.

Eddie picked up the large bowl with the batter in it and went over to the stove where the pan was. "As you can see," He set the bowl beside the stove and scooped some batter in the pan. "I can carry the bowl." He stated.

Richie smirked and sat down on a chair next to the table. Eddie finished making the pancakes, there was three for each of them. He set down a plate on Richie's side of the table and another plate on his side. He sat down. 

"So, how are you, Eddie Spaghetti?" Richie asked, taking a bite of his pancakes. 

"I'm fine.. You never told me why you came, by the way." Eddie said, looking up at him.

Richie sighed. "Just- A lot was going on at home, I got in trouble at school..." He said, shrugging a bit. 

Eddie nodded. He knew that Richie had a rough time at home, so he just decided to not ask about it too much.

After a little while, they finished their food and put their dishes in the sink. Eddie looked over to his mom's room and sighed. 

"We should probably go back to my room, my mom will be up in a bit and she doesn't know that I have guests over.." Eddie said, walking towards the stairs. 

Richie followed but stopped after a few seconds. "Hey, I have an idea, you should invite the other losers over so we can all hang out." He said. 

Eddie sighed a bit. "Sure, why not.." He walked over to the phone and called the other losers. 

Unfortunately, only Stan, Mike, and Beverly were free to hang out.


	6. Truth Or Dare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie, Richie, Stan, Beverly, and Mike all play truth or dare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i knoW this is cliche just-

After a bit of waiting, Eddie, Richie, Beverly, Stan, and Mike were all gathered in Eddie's room. 

"So, what are we gonna do?" Mike asked, looking to the others. 

Beverly smirked. Since she was pretty close with Richie she knew that he had some kind of interest in Eddie, she just wanted to confirm it. "How about a nice game of truth or dare?"

"I'm up for it, just don't make us do some stupid shit like jump off the roof." Stan said, looking over to Beverly.

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "I won't." She stated. 

They all sat down on the floor. Beverly smiled."I'll go first," She said happily. She thought for a moment, she didn't want to immediately start asking personal things, "Eddie, truth or dare."

"Hmm, truth."

The game went on normally for a while. It escalated just a bit when Stan was dared to eat a cup of flour. He did it, and was surprisingly able to keep it down. Beverly finally decided it was time to get a little more personal. 

Perfect timing, it was her turn. "Richie, truth or dare?" She asked. 

"I'll pick dare." Richie said, feeling confident. 

"I dare you to tell us your crush." She said, smirking.

Richie knew what she was up to, and he blushed slightly. "Pfft, I don-" 

"I already know who it is, Richie." Beverly stated. "Come on."

"Uh, can I change the dare..?" Richie asked quietly. 

Beverly smirked, she had a better idea. "Ok then, I dare you to do 7 minutes in heaven with Eddie."

Eddie and Richie's face went super red. "What!? Is that even allowed!?" Richie hissed. 

Stan nodded. "I mean, it's not jumping off of the roof, so.." He shrugged with a little smile on his face. 

Beverly stood up and opened a medium sized closet that Eddie had in his room. "Well, what are you waiting for?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah im still sick so that's fun
> 
> and i apologize if you saw the chapter when it was unfinished, i accidentally posted it without finishing it (even though it was only up for a few minutes, just saying).


	7. 7 Minutes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've been trying to upload at least a chapter a day, but it's been a bit difficult, so i apologize for that.

Beverly watched the two. "Well, what are you waiting for??" She asked.

Eddie and Richie stood up, slowly walking into the closet. They luckily had a little room, so they weren't completely pressed up against each other. 

"Alright! 7 minutes!" Beverly stated, closing the closet door. She didn't actually set a timer or anything, she was just going to see how it went. 

Eddie took a deep breath and looked up to Richie. Richie laughed nervously and spoke quietly, "We don't have to do anything if-"

He was cut off by Eddie kissing him softly on the lips. Richie's eyes widened a bit, but he kissed back. After a few seconds, Eddie pulled back from him. 

"Richie, I really like you, and I want to know if you feel the same.." He said softly.

Richie smiled. "And I thought I would be the one telling you." He said happily.

Eddie looked at the door. "We still have quite a bit of time.." He said quietly, looking up to Richie again. 

Richie didn't hesitate, he held Eddie's neck with his hands and kissed him. Eddie placed his hands on Richie's cheeks and also kissed back. They kissed for a bit and Richie moved his hands down to Eddie's waist. Richie licked Eddie's lip softly, as a way to ask for permission. Eddie parted his lips slightly and Richie's tongue slid in his mouth. Eddie ran his hands through Richie's hair. They continued on french kissing for a bit. 

Beverly then slammed the door open. "Time-" Eddie and Richie quickly pulled away from each other, both of their faces super red. Beverly snickered, "I didn't actually expect you guys to do anything." She stated.

The three just went back to sit down and continue playing their game. Eddie and Richie were very quiet while everyone else was giggling. 

They continued on with the game for a bit, only doing light dares to each other. There were only a few that were a bit extreme. Eventually, Mike and Stan had to leave, so only Beverly, Eddie, and Richie were together.

"So, are you guys like, a thing now??" Beverly asked, sitting down on Eddie's bed. 

Eddie looked over to Richie and they both just shrugged. 

"I mean, from what I saw, I think I already know the answer." She chuckled a bit.


	8. Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look at me, writing away teehee.

"Maybe, can I talk about this alone with Eddie, Bev?" Richie asked, looking over to her.

She nodded, "Alright, well, I'll be in the bathroom. Just tell me when you're done." She stood up and walked out of Eddie's room. She just stood close by the door and listened to their conversation. 

They looked at each other. "So, Eds, should we like, be together?" Richie asked awkwardly.

Eddie smiled and sighed softly. "I mean, why not?" He said, shrugging.

Richie smiled and tackled Eddie onto his bed. He kissed him. Eddie giggled a bit and kissed back. "Should we tell Bev?" Eddie asked in between kisses. 

"She can wait for a bit.." Richie said, holding Eddies cheeks softly while still on top of him. 

Eddie kissed Richie softly. "Come on, we don't want to get carried away." He said. 

Richie sighed a bit and nodded. "Alright, but this isn't over." He said with a smirk as he got off of Eddie. They both stood up and opened the door. 

"Were you standing there the whole time?" Richie asked.

"Irrelevant. So, what's up with you two??" Beverly asked, eagerly waiting for an answer. 

"We're dating." Eddie stated. Beverly smiled. 

"I knew you could do it, Rich!" She said happily, looking over to Richie. 

Richie smiled and wrapped an arm around Eddie's shoulders. "How did you even find out that I liked Eds?" Richie asked.

"Oh come on, it was so obvious. I could see the way you'd look at him all the time." She said, snickering a bit. 

Richie blushed a bit and rolled his eyes. They walked back into Eddie's room and sat down on his bed. 

"So, what do you guys wanna do now?" Richie asked, looking at the both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about not posting for a bit, I've had a rough past few days.


	9. IMPORTANT UPDATE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Important

Hey ya'll. I just wanted to say that i probably won't post very often. School is really getting to me and i can only do so much at once. Writers block is extremely annoying as well, and it's just difficult to keep up.

Please understand, and I'm sorry that I won't be able to keep up as much. 

Thanks ya'll! Bye bye!


End file.
